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Dear Zombie Apocalypse, I Love You

Part Two of the Zombie Apocalypse Saga

“Welcome! You made it to a very special place, my personal hell!” Hades screams violently. 

Hades… is a little special. He’s a streamer, he’s whimsical, and most of all he’s an older brother. Furthermore, he isn’t a good older brother, as you can see visibly. Hades is the type of person who would go out into a horde and kill all the zombies. This man derives half of his personality from The Joker and the other from Hisoka from “Hunter x Hunter’’. To keep it short, he’s weird. 

“Shut up, narrator, you’re interrupting my game!” As you can see, he can hear voices. “I said shut up, narrator!!!” That time his mom began to bang on the door. 

As she opens the door, she says “THERE IS NO NARRATOR, HADES HALEY EVANS! WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THE DISHES, YOU 21-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE DROP-OUT!!!” So you understand, this is completely his own fault. Hades soundproofed his room when he was 16. 

Hades left the room a complete mess, just walking in his underwear to go do the dishes. He’s 6’4 and muscular, but no one knows why because this man just eats, games, and sleeps all day. He also has his entire body covered in tattoos that he got for no reason. We don’t talk about his piercings. He is the embodiment of chaos. 

“Thanks for saying I look handsome, narrator.” He says with a smug face because he knows he’s handsome. He’s narcissistic, sassy, and worst of all, he’s lazy. 

Oh yeah, the zombie apocalypse. That’s happening. The vaccine is being developed in the laboratories of huge companies. The world’s beginning to reopen. Everything is happening again except for the fact that now there are huge walls everywhere. Air travel is now the most used mode of transportation. People now carry huge spiked bats in case of a zombie, but nothing much more has changed. 

Hades, since you can hear my magical voice, what are your thoughts on Greek mythology? The zombie apocalypse happening currently? Your sister’s mental health? 

“Oh, Greek mythology. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON IT! I hate it,” Hades replies to the narrator’s questions with a whirlwind of emotions, and of course, he continues, “I don’t understand what’s going through the mind of someone who names their kids after Greek gods, like what the hell. I also just hate Greek Mythology. Now the zombie apocalypse, that’s fun, now I have a legitimate reason to be violent to everyone. I love it. I feel sad for the people who got turned into zombies and their families, but now I have some target practice. Now my sister’s mental health…” he takes a long pause due to the number of overwhelming emotions. “That’s a hard question to answer. I love my little sister. That dweeb is a ray of sunshine normally, but what do you want from her. All her friends got turned into zombies. I’ve tried to cheer her up, but it didn’t work.” He lets a tear roll down his cheek and land on the floor. Obviously, he doesn’t want to continue, so we end this story here once more. 

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