[Image Credits: Kelly Meder]

FRESHMEN

• Go to a football game
• Try an ebike stack with 3+ people and no helmets
• Have your Taco Bell christening
• Cut off a car on said ebike (extra points if you run a stop sign too)
• Get yelled at by Brie

SOPHOMORES

• Get mistaken for a senior and like it
• Use your mom’s credit card to buy lunch every day
• Spend way too much at Bossie’s
• Have a two-week relationship 

JUNIORS

Juniors:

• Hit a curb at full speed
• “$5 sushi day at Sprouts!”
• Get super serious about school because “this is the year colleges look at”
• Park five blocks away from school (get those steps in!)

SENIORS

• Catch senioritis and start ditching
• “Where my hug at” into an illegal entanglement
• Complain about “how different this year is” 
• Honk at the ebike who cut you off

(please note: this piece is satire and is not meant to be taken seriously)