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[Image Credits: Kelly Meder]


  • Go to a football game
  • Try an ebike stack with 3+ people and no helmets
  • Have your Taco Bell christening
  • Cut off a car on said ebike (extra points if you run a stop sign too)
  • Get yelled at by Brie


Mother’s credit card
  • Get mistaken for a senior and like it
  • Use your mom’s credit card to buy lunch every day
  • Spend way too much at Bossie’s
  • Have a two-week relationship 


Sprouts $5 sushi


  • Hit a curb at full speed
  • “$5 sushi day at Sprouts!”
  • Get super serious about school because “this is the year colleges look at”
  • Park five blocks away from school (get those steps in!)


Driving away…
  • Catch senioritis and start ditching
  • “Where my hug at” into an illegal entanglement
  • Complain about “how different this year is” 
  • Honk at the ebike who cut you off

(please note: this piece is satire and is not meant to be taken seriously)


  • Kelly Meeder

    Hi, I'm a sophomore VADA student. This'll be my third year of journalism and I'm excited to write for a physical paper.

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